Day Four

Background: One of my HHHT girls convinced us all and a few others to do The Whole30. We all agreed to start January 2nd because let’s be honest, we’d all be hung over on the 1st. I agreed because I am not very smart. Theses posts are the daily emails I’ve sent to the group that is participating in this challenge.

I would cut a bitch for a toasted marshmallow right now. I hate marshmallows. Detox is weird.
Anyway, looks like I’m going to make this weighing in thing a ritual of torture for us all every morning until the end of this mission. You’re welcome. If you are losing weight at a faster rate than I am (couldn’t be much slower) you are dead to me. DEAD. If you’re not weighing yourself like it’s an OCD tick, well then you get a gold fucking star from the Whole30 bastards. I’m sure it’s an organic free-range gold fucking star too.
Scale:  another 1.2 gone
Me: I’m not impressed. Much.
Scale: Your fat percentage is…
Me: fuck off, how do I turn that feature off anyway?
Hard boiled egg
Green tea
Grapefruit w/salt (trust me on the salt, once you try it you’ll never ruin a grapefruit w/sugar again)
toppings picked off a pizza crust* – ham, olives, spinach, cheese, tomato sauce
left over salmon, olives, tomato & avocado over fresh spinach
apple w/hazelnut butter
steak bites and mushrooms
so much herbal tea I lost track
and oh hey more fucking water
*YES there was cheese w/the toppings. I’m sure I sent myself aaaaallll the way back to the beginning of that 2.4 lbs I’ve lost, but look, I work for a pizza company. Part of my JOB – the thing that allows me to buy overpriced organic produce – is eating pizza. So unless you want me, WMFS and two extremely overweight long-haired cats to move in with you, I suggest you cut me some slack. I didn’t eat the crust made of poison (enriched flour) and I refrained from licking the crust to get the tasty sugary sauce as I normally would have if I were at home.  (You being whoever is reading this and judging me).
No gym tonight as I attended what can only be described as the most UNhappy of happy hours in the history of happy hours. I can tell you right now the questions/responses you read in February are going to be L-A-M-E if we really do manage to nix the alcohol for 30 days. I’m not sure losing our 5 readers is worth this, I mean really we can’t be selfish here can we? We neeeeeeed to drink for our people!!!!! (insert loud cheering).

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