Me + Yukon = Hysterical. Me + Yukon + Snow = Everyone is Fucked

I hate driving WMFS’ Yukon on the best of days. Recently I made the unfortunate decision to load up 4 co-workers and take a field trip to Chipotle because Chipotle is the best field trip ever.

Here is a snap shot of the conversations that were had during said field trip:

Me: Ok let’s just get this straight, I don’t drive this thing, I aim it. And we will be parking at Nautilus so that I can park it in three spots and not care.

Entire Car, Thinking To Themselves: Oh dear god, we’re gonna die.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

From the middle row, Co-worker 1: Hey can we get some air back here.

Me: I don’t even know which buttons to push to make that happen.

Me: (Fiddling with buttons on the roof above the windshield)

Co-worker 2: Hey why don’t you just focus on the road?

Entire car: Good call!

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Me trying to merge: Hey am I clear to the right?

Right Side: Yep

Co-worker 2: What was I thinking?

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Me, upon arriving at Chipotle: See we made it!

Co-worker 2: I’m not celebrating yet, we still have to make it back to the office.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

From the cheap seats, Co-worker 3: Is this soap back here in the cup holder?

Me: Uh, probably. Probably left over from a camping trip.

From the cheap seats, Co-worker 4: Yeah but why is it back here?

Me: I don’t know, how often do you think I’m in the back seat of my own truck?

Entire car: …

So that is what it is like to ride with me in the Yukon. It’s a terrifying thrill ride! Buy tickets now!

Anyway, today with this craptastic snow fall, I took the truck to work. Did you know a spatula makes a better ice scraper than an actual ice scraper? My neighbor used his barbecue brush, but I could tell he was totally jealous of my spatula.

And I swear people KNEW where I’d attempt to park it and stayed clear of those 6 parking spaces. My co-workers are so thoughtful! Thankfully the snow is melting so aiming my way home will be a piece of cake. Unfortunately it’s supposed to freeze tomorrow. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

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