Someone Please Stage an Intervention
Look, I need some serious help. I had cold gin and vodka as well as wine at my disposal last night and I… um, well…the first step is admitting you have a problem right?
OK, here goes.
I didn’t drink any of it.
I KNOW! I DON’T EVEN KNOW ME EITHER!!!
Thirty-one days without an adult beverage. The first thirty made me want to junk-punch newborn babies, but yesterday was a whole new hell; it was voluntary. It was wrong.
Truth be told, I’m intimidated by the hang over that I am all but guaranteed when that first drink hits my lips. My head is actually throbbing just thinking about it. Speaking of headaches; I took ibuprofen exactly once in January. Not only did Shanahan’s loose a chunk of revenue, so did Pfizer. It is clearly my obligation to society to get off this damned wagon and do my part to stimulate the economy again via gin and over the counter pain relief!
So tonight at Happy Hour Hot Topics, I’m taking the first step in my (and the economy’s) recovery. Who’s with me? Who is going to come out tonight and hold my hand? And possibly my hair.
Enter at Own Risk 
I am so in!
You had me at “junk-punch newborn babies.”
Hello. Is it me you’re looking for? Lionel Richie thinks so and I do too. 😉
I wish I could join the festivities in spirit or skype, but I’m presently on that god damned wagon. Damnation! It makes me realize how much I hate my own personality.